Some Advice On Internet Dating
Internet dating has got to be one of the best and simplest ways to find yourself a partner nowadays. What could be easier than to use the technology that we have available now, and literally find out all you need to know about someone, whose profile you like, with the click of a mouse? Then it is up to both of you whether you wish to take things further and meet in real life.
Not so long ago, internet dating sites were frowned upon and it was something to be ashamed of if you couldn’t meet someone in real time and had to resort to this. Now, people have caught on to the fact that it is entirely acceptable and that there is nothing wrong with meeting someone online.
Another thing was that people considered that there was a risk factor involved with online dating, but isn’t that true in real life also?
Now we are going to give some advice about online dating, which will be particularly useful to those who are new to the game, both men and women.
First of all, let’s look at some of the reasons why millions of people across the world choose online dating, other than the simplicity of it.
The fact that people across the whole of the world use online dating is a good reason in itself. You are not confined to looking for a partner in your own little corner of the world but can spread your search as far and wide as you like. It could be that you find your ideal match on the other side of the planet. Not so easy logistically but it happens all the time and people find a way round it if it is meant to be.
Online dating caters for people from all walks of life. People from different age groups, different religions, of different social class, different interests and many other specifics! There are different dating sites that cater for different groups as well as sites that cater for all.
With online dating, you can find out so much about a person before you even meet. You can find out their interests and hobbies, their likes and dislikes, some of their personality traits, of course, how they look and much more.
This is actually a much safer way to meet someone because you are not physically with them. If you don’t like someone or feel uncomfortable about them, then you simply ‘switch them off’. If someone is harassing you or annoying you, then you can block them or even report them to the site administrators.
Most people are more honest about themselves on an online dating site. This is because they don’t feel the need to put on a show and, remember, most of them are looking for the same thing as you! An ideal partner!
Another good thing about online dating is the comfort factor. You don’t need to leave your own home. You don’t need to get dressed up and you can even continue if you are not feeling well.
You don’t have to meet anyone until you feel totally comfortable with them. If you have any doubts at all, then you just don’t meet them.
There are, of course, some disadvantages to online dating and now we will look at these as well.
Firstly, can you really be 100% sure that this person you are chatting to online is really who they say they are? Well the answer to that is no, but you should get enough warning signals that something is wrong as long as you don’t rush into things.
Photographs can be manipulated and re-touched to make them look better. Always ask to see a photo in a natural setting and not professionally done. You will soon see the difference.
Is it really that person that is writing you messages? Again, you will recognize the warning signals if it is not really them. You can chat to a person on webcam or telephone and you will get a much better idea of them.
This may seem a strange thing to say, but you will not know if they smell right for you. This is actually a very important factor for most people and is, obviously, not something you can find out online.
Another thing that some people don’t like about online dating is the safety factor in that you really don’t know who you are meeting. There are indeed many strange and even dangerous people out there. Well, this is true for real life as well and as long as you take a few basic and sensible precautions there should be no problems. More on that soon!
So, which is the best dating site for you? Well, this is an entirely personal choice. As we have already said, there are many different sites out there that cater for all different tastes. You may wish to go for a site specifically for your age group, your religion, your particular social class or you may wish to pick a site that caters for one and all.
The thing to do is to try a few out and find one that suits you and works for you. Most dating sites allow you to sign u and browse for free so you can have a look and see what is there before you part with any money to make full use of the site.
Now for some safety tips on online dating!
This is aimed mainly at women but men should also take note as well as it is certainly possible for men to be targeted by certain people. Following these few basic precautions should see that you are safe and possibly even save your life.
Do not meet up with someone that you feel even slightly uncomfortable with. Follow your instincts.
Make sure that the first few dates are in a public place with plenty of other people around.
You may even wish to take a friend with you on the first date or at least have someone in the back ground.
Tell your family and friends where you are going and what time you expect to be back.
Use your own transport to get to and from the date. Do not get into a car with someone you have just met.
Women may wish to take some sort of defensive item with them, such as pepper spray. Don’t, however, take anything that could be turned against you, such as a knife.
If you feel that the date is not going well or that you feel uncomfortable, leave! Call someone, if necessary, to come and get you.
So, to sum up, make sure that you stick to these basic rules. You may have some of your own that you wish to add and these rules are not only for online dating. They are just as viable for any first date.
So now let’s look at enjoying that first date and getting the most out of it. Also, knowing how to recognize the signs that it is not so good and to call it a day!
First of all remember that this is meant to be fun! You may be nervous about meeting someone for the first time but do try and get the most out of it by having a good time. At the same time, pay attention to as much detail as you can about the other person. See how they react to you with things such as how much attention they pay to what you are saying, are they interested in you, do they show a positive or negative outlook, are they polite and well-mannered and are they interesting. Do they only want to talk about themselves and do they make an effort to keep the date as much fun and interesting as possible for both of you. Also check for any corny dating lines that are being used. If it sounds like this person is reading from a script, then that is not a good sign
At the same time, you must reciprocate and be interested in what they are saying and not only talk about yourself. A very important thing is to be honest with yourself and the other person. You know what you want and so do they so if you think there is a possibility of things developing, then that is great! If not, just move on.
If all or most of the good points are there, then so far so good. The chances are that you may want to meet up for a second date and so on.
After the date, you may want to make a note about the good and bad points and weigh them up and make a decision as to whether to continue with this person or not.
So, let’s suppose that you have now met for a few times and things are developing well.
All the signs are there that this person can fulfill your needs and that is the most important thing. One point worth mentioning is sex. To many people, sex is a very important part of a relationship. To some it is not so. You know what you want in this department and it is important that you are both compatible in this area as well. If and when the relationship moves onto this stage, then you must talk about both of your wants and needs in this department. Unfortunately, it is a topic that many people find hard to discuss but it has to be done to avoid possibly ruining something that is otherwise perfect. So forget any qualms or fears and just, again, be honest with each other. You will be surprised how easy it is when you both open up.
So we’ve looked at a few of the pros and cons about online dating and the bottom line is that it really does work for many, many people.
Just to recap, when you decide to go down the road of online dating, then you must know what and who you are looking for.
Some people are looking for marriage or a long term relationship; some are looking for casual relationships, some for companionship and others for friendship. You know which category you fall into and so you will, of course, act and choose accordingly on whichever site you choose to join.
When choosing a dating site, do your research and try a few, if necessary. It is best to use one of the paid, reputable sites as the quality of the service is much better and you have many more choices and options with them. There are completely free sites out there but, generally, they are not so good and have a poor quality of service.
One very important thing is not to short change yourself or compromise on certain things that are important to you. You have decided what your needs and requirements are before you join the site and you must stick to these if they are that important to you. For example, if you are a non-smoker and it bothers you if people smoke, then don’t choose someone who smokes. Likewise with other habits that you would eventually find annoying! Maybe you have had relationships in the past that have gone wrong because something important was missing. Don’t make the same mistake again with online dating. There is no need. You are bound to find someone who fulfills all your needs and whose needs you fulfill. So, please, to be successful, don’t compromise.
Again, it is so important to be honest. This cannot be stressed enough. If you are not honest and try to make out that you are someone you are not, it will only lead to disappointment and possible heartache, not only for the other person but for you as well.
We talked briefly about long distant online dating, earlier. Now this is a different ball game but it can and does work for a lot of people. It could be that you have discovered your soul mate and he or she lives in another country or even on the other side of the world. Don’t be disheartened about this. We are lucky that, with today’s technology, such relationships are entirely possible and in many cases lead onto marriage and children.
If this happens to you, there are many ways to keep the relationship going, even if you don’t have the money to see each other that often. There is Skype and other VOIP telephone systems to be used as a way of keeping in touch regularly.
If things develop and one of you decides to move to the others country to be with them, then there may be things such as visas and immigration to deal with but all these details can be overcome if you are both serious about being together. People who have met on online dating sites deal with such things all the time.
After reading this article, we hope that you will have a bit more f an insight into online dating and that it has been of some use to you. If you are new to the game or are already an experienced online dater, we hope that you find what you are looking for and also have a lot of fun while doing so.
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