Nine Tips for Dating Conversation
Everyone wants a first date to go well and everyone also knows how difficult it can be to keep the conversation flowing freely without any of those awkward silences. It is only natural as you are probably both a bit nervous and wondering who should take the lead and when.
Now we have put together nine tips that will help you and your date to open up and actually have an enjoyable time together.
You have arranged to meet and now you are wondering how the date will go. Well the first thing to do is to try and relax. Yes, this is easier said than done but remembers that the other person is probably feeling the same as you.
So here we go……..just follow these nine tips and you will be well on your way to not only having a good time but also impressing your date, as well.
- Try and avoid asking stupid and boring questions
Imagine if a woman were to ask a man about his favorite color nail varnish on a woman or, vice versa, a man were to ask a woman what she thought about the football game the previous day. Now it is possible that these questions could be of some interest to both parties, but in reality it is unlikely and really not good conversation starters for a first date. Instead you should try and pick topics that are likely to be of interest to both of you. Celebrity gossip is always a good subject as are favorite TV shows or recent films you have seen.
The thing to do is to bring your emotions into play and try and find some common ground which you can both build on.
- Try and remember that you are not conducting an interview.
Of course, you are free to ask as many questions as you like but don’t make your date feel that they are the subject of an interview. If they are faced with a long barrage of questions it will feel just like that to them.
Instead, intersperse your conversation with statements as well and also talk about yourself in relation to the particular topic. For example, you could say that you’re sure that you can guess where they were born. Or that you’re sure you can guess what their job is. Then try and find some common ground again, such as saying that your mum, dad or whoever was born there or that you know someone who does the same type of work.
- Think what questions you would feel happy answering and then ask them.
This tactic will not only be a good way of thinking of decent questions but will also allow you to show off a little about yourself.
For example, you can ask your date what they like to do in their spare time. They will give their answer and you can then go on and say what you like to do.
This is a great tip and it always works well. Be careful, though, when you start talking about yourself that you don’t come across as being too full of yourself or boastful. You certainly don’t want to make your date think that their life is dull compared to yours.
- Tell some good stories
It is a dead certainty that you can tell stories. You probably tell stories to your family and friends all the time, so why not share some of these stories with your date?
The stories can be about anything. They can be funny or serious but remember that you are meant to be having fun, so it is probably best to stay away from anything too negative or sad.
Your date probably doesn’t want to know right now that your grandmother died recently, your cat has terminal cancer or that your job is really getting you down. It is a bit difficult to put a funny slant on stories like that.
Instead, do some preparation before the date and go right back to your childhood and think about the funniest things that have happened to you throughout your life. Then practice relating them and finally, when you have picked some of the best ones, you can tell your date about it.
By the way, this is not only a good tip for a date but also for when you are chatting to friends and work colleagues. In fact, you can even use them as your guinea pigs for your stories before you actually go on your date.
One important point and that is to keep the story interesting. Don’t use unnecessary detail which could make the story become tedious to listen to.
- Topics to avoid at all costs
It is unbelievable that some people still talk about some or all of the following topics on a first date. Unbelievable but, unfortunately, true.
It really should be common sense, but these are the subjects of conversation that should be strictly taboo until you at least know your date a little better. Some of them, perhaps, should never be spoken about but certainly not on a first date.
In no particular order of merit, they are:
Your date does not want to hear about your past relationships, good or bad, at this stage of the game. This is definitely a conversation for another time.
Talking about the weather is not only boring but shows a distinct lack of imagination.
The same as the weather unless it is something that you have common ground about and perhaps met on a religion-oriented dating site
Again, potentially very boring and also could be the cause of your first argument! On your first date!
Personal problems or issues
This is another topic that should be left until you know your date better. Definitely not for a first date!
Any of these topics could lead to uncomfortable moments and maybe even scare your date off completely. There are, of course, other topics to avoid but these seem to be the main bad ones that should be avoided at all costs.
- Good conversation topics.
We are certain that you have many good conversational topics but here are a couple of pointers in case you get stuck.
If you have done anything particularly exciting, fun or interesting lately, then tell your date about it.
Celebrity gossip is always good for a laugh or two. Before your date, trawl through the gossip columns and pick out some funny or interesting stories to go over with your date.
- Don’t be desperate for common ground
It will be great if you both have some common ground that you can share but if it is not there, don’t worry. Don’t go looking for something that is not immediately apparent. If it is there then you will find it all in good time.
- Get The Conversation Flowing
It could be that your date is being very quiet and a bit shy. If that’s the case then it is up to you to get things going. You can do this by encouraging them to be reciprocal. For example, if you ask them about their work and they are not very forthcoming, then carry on and talk a bit about your work (not too much,) and then they will be far more likely to tell you about theirs. This can work with just about any subject and as an example the conversation might go like this:
“What do you usually like to do in the evenings?”
You could then carry on with…..” Because I like going out to clubs, bars, the cinema…… “etc.
Then your date will find it much easier to join in with the conversation and will, hopefully, reciprocate.
- Some Advice For The Guys -Sorry Ladies!
As we all know, men and women are different. Now, if a girl starts to tell you about her problems, the mistake that a lot of guys make is to think that she wants the problem solved for her. This is the way that some men think. Usually this is not the case and she just wants you to LISTEN!
If she’s had a row with her parents or her best friend, there’s no way that you can help solve that anyway. She just wants a sounding board or someone who will listen to her. She may not even want your advice and may not even care if the problem gets solved or not. She just needs to get it off her chest.
Just bear this in mind, guys. You will soon know if she really needs your help with something.
So those are our nine tips for having a good conversation on a first date. Try them out and see how it goes. We are certain that it will certainly be of some help to you…..Good luck!
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